The crime and the legal, medical and karmic results of the crime are entirely his. It isn't her "fault" that he is a monster or a failure on her part if he won't listen to reason. The rapist is responsible for the rape, not the victim. So I waited for the time when I knew he was going to attack and took him down in a efficiently brutal fashion while he was still woofing and throwing haymakers. Did I avoid him? Yes, but that doesn't work in a chronic situation. The first serious fight I ever got in was over something I had absolutely no control over and which he was dead set on using to start a fight with due to training he received from the cradle. But in the end his actions are his responsibility, not yours. Unless you have incredible powers of persuasion and the Divine Aura of Compassionate Kwan Yin you can't control another person's actions and desire. And once you get in the habit of giving in or backing down, even if it's only for a couple minutes, you have made it more difficult to move towards the proactive and to get him to stop whatever it was he was doing to you. The earlier you raise the cost, the less you have to do down the road. People who want to take something from you will generally do so until they decide that the price they are about to pay is greater than whatever it is they're about to take from you. Sometimes a little violence now is the best way to avoid a lot of violence later. I will not allow friends or family to be put in danger or even humiliated. I will take a reasonable amount of crap to keep the peace. There are things that are much worse than getting into a fight. Click to expand.One problem is that all of these are at least partly false.
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